Tags
Forgive my writing absence. It has been a wonderfully crazy transition. Moving, beginning grad school, new job. Lots to take in all at once!
Being back in this place of many, many memories has lead to an interesting new development:
I cannot seem to attend Mass or Adoration without crying. Why?
One possibility, as Fig 1.1 so eloquently displays, is that since becoming Catholic almost nine years ago, I have spent 72% of that time in transition.
Fig 1.1
Point A was my starting point as a Catholic because for the first time I was able to see the world through clear eyes. And despite being only a mile in with many twists and turns, there has been (and continues to be) one constant in my life:
The Eucharist.
Nearly nine years of receiving the Eucharist hasn’t rid me from all of my vices. I still have the same faults and weaknesses, am stubborn beyond measure and still twirl my hair and crack my knuckles with relentless determination. But at the core, I am fundamentally different. Because I have tasted Truth.
Padre’s Mass of Thanksgiving
There were three things that contributed to my conversion to Catholicism. The first and most important one was the Eucharist.
The first Mass I ever attended, I walked in as a shy awkward 16 year old girl (ha! not much as changed except for the wrinkle lines on my face showing my age). Little did I know that I would never be the same again.
Because that shy awkward girl saw something she had never seen before. God was present in a way He wasn’t in any other place in the entire world. I wanted to lose myself in the Eucharist.
But I’m human, and not an angel. So I fall. But I get back up every time through His grace. Receive His mercy in the Sacrament of Confession and receive Him again, body, blood, soul, and divinity. And again. And again. Until I meet Him face to face in eternity.
Receiving the Eucharist keeps me grounded in purpose. It means giving up the lies the devil has fed me through good, Holy things (like, you can earn God’s love by becoming a nun). It means moving forward, no matter how many twists and turns there are, because I fundamentally know that the only way to move forward is to move towards Christ.